We hope you enjoy reading the below article written by someone we love, our dad! We tend to be our dad's musings and giggle at how he portrays some of our adventures together.
Family Vacation Fun?
The Gulf of Mexico is blanketed in gooey oil, one of our daughters has a double-ear infection and the other is frankly going through a stage that we can only describe as "demonically possessed," so my wife and I figured this would be the perfect month to pack up the clan and head to Destin for a week of fun in the sun.
It's not that we typically plan our family vacations around disasters both man-made and natural, we just happen to be lucky that way.
Do you remember the record-breaking hurricane Floyd of 1999? We do, because we were on a cruise ship in the Atlantic Ocean trying to frantically steer around it.
Do you remember the bizarre winter heat wave that struck western Canada in 2002? We do, because we were in a ski-in-ski-out resort watching it rain and dissolve snow for a week.
Or how about the mosquito infestation that occurred during the Summer of 2004 in North Dakota that caused a near epidemic outbreak of West Nile Virus. You betcha we remember it because we were right there in the middle of it during a Family Reunion.
And so it was with our vacation history in tow that we packed up the wagon and forced ourselves upon the unsuspecting population of the panhandle of Florida. It began as expected with our youngest experiencing a fit of nausea that provided an epic rerun of her Happy Meal on some two-lane highway in South Alabama while her older sister demanded that she be allowed to "go potty" in the middle of Deliverance country.
I think most of you heading south probably saw us on the side of the road, my wife waving Lysol Disinfectant Wipes around like we were having a sticker-tape parade inside our car while I stood vigilantly over our other daughter making "wee" in a special potty we had brought along for the trip. I think I even heard a couple of you laugh as you drove dangerously close to our little show.
The rest of the trip lived up to our usual expectations. Our High-Definition Camera that I had purchased to take memorable videos of the girls frolicking in the sand got frolicked on and could no longer catch memories which turned out to be okay because it became increasingly apparent that neither of our children enjoyed the sand, the beach or the sun. I am just so glad we went all the way to Destin to discover this tidbit of information.
I also discovered that the nicest water-proof watch I have ever owned was actually just water-resistant which meant that it should never be worn in, around or even near moisture. Or, as it was explained to me by the jeweler charging me an arm and a leg repairing it, "It's more of an in-doorey type watch."
And who would have known that there is a beach cousin to the Georgia Chigger that thrives on sunburned shins?
So to sum up; Worst Oil Spill in History, Epic Sad Meal Regurgitation, Dangerous Potty Training, Costly Electronic Failures, Satanic Children and Parasites. Yep, just about a typical family vacation for Clan Orler. Next year we are thinking of going to Iceland, we hear the Volcano may be erupting again and we don't want to miss it!
Mark Orler is a full-time husband, father and part-time observationist. He has been previously featured in the OurTown Monthly Magazine. Mark can be reached at mlorler@yahoo.com
Comments